moving WITH grief

I am exploring movement with my grief instead of attempting to move it around within my body.

Because sometimes when I move, it feels more like moving WITH grief. Rather than moving the actual grief - as if grief could be manipulated or encouraged to do something else. 

Sometimes the grief doesn’t budge. Sometimes it wants to stay put and be held.

Many times, when grief is all encompassing, I can barely move beyond a simple lift of a finger or turn of my head. 

And so in this way, I move with my grief.

When it comes time to leave the house, and I wear grief like a heavy cloak; it moves with me in such a way that it informs each footstep. 

It slows me down and I find my way through a densely grown forest.

And I do not fight it. I let it be this way. For now.

For as long as grief needs to move in this way.

Knowing full well the course will change. 

Tomorrow I may not notice much grief. 

Or, grief may want to skip or run or dance or make soup.

And so I move with grief in this way. 

I do not fight grief. I let grief be. For now.