When things don’t go your way {and what you can do}

Sometimes the day just doesn’t unfold in the way that you wanted or expected it to. Today, for example, I had these grand visions of putting the finishing touches on an outdoor program I’ve been wanting to launch for WEEKS in June. I keep changing thing around and succumbing to my own self-doubt. Well that stops here as I’ve just realized what I’ve been doing! Also because of my self-doubt I distracted myself with things like: planning a trip to Florida to visit family, hypothetical online shopping, copious cups of tea and seltzer water, playing with my animals, and you get the picture.

 

But so here’s the realization that I have just come to…

It is wonderful to set intentions and have “soft-goals” we want to reach toward. But it’s like setting ourselves up for failure if we have high hopes for a particular day going a certain way and then it just taking a turn. Because so often when it takes that “turn” that might be the exact thing we need.

 

We tend to catalog our lives into good things that happen for us and bad things that happen TO us. When in reality – EVERYTHING in life happens for us – whether we think it is good or bad is not important because that is our good ol’ ego getting in our way.

 

So in this moment I’m softening to this ‘non-productive’ day. I’m letting it be what it is. Because I’m also acknowledging my brain needed a rest. I’m also acknowledging the energy and effort it takes to work with clients 1:1 and teach a class on top (because my schedule today is at max capacity with that!).

 

In my “down time” when I’m not with clients, instead of freaking out about all the things I could be doing, I’m going to ease into each moment. Let myself get distracted away from my computer and phone because clearly this is something I could use!

 

And finally … I am sharing this with you because this is real. A lot of what we see on social media is a pretty picture, a slice of life. And things don’t always work out swimmingly. Sometimes we feel a little stuck or uninspired. And I think in those moments what we need most is to take a step back. Maybe even rest. But be especially loving and kind to yourself when things aren’t going “your way.” And you’ll see that in fact things are going EXACTLY the way you need them to 🙂

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On Self-Love

How do you practice self-love and empowerment?

Self-love.

It used to just mean doing nice things for myself or saying nice things to myself. And then just waiting for the good feelings and the shifts of finally feeling self-love to come..

But it wasn’t until recently when a coach (Amy Fiedler – look her up, she’s amazing) highlighted this one aspect of self-love that I was missing:

Acknowledge when you are kind to yourself.
Acknowledge when you do something loving.

Even the little things like getting out of bed in the morning. And this is especially if you are having trouble finding acts of love.

But be amazed at how compassionate you are with yourself. How patient. How kind.

Acknowledge all of it and THIS is going to shift your mindset and your entire way of being.

These thoughts will soon replace the self-loathing, negative, unkind thoughts.

So instead of trying to stop those thoughts you simply (and slowly) replace them with the self-loving thoughts.

Bottom line: I practice self-love all the time. Some examples:
-taking my time to make and eat my breakfast in the morning
-making sure i have a full glass of water first thing when i wake up
-prioritizing time to write
-going for a hike with Daisy
-meditating

And I ACKNOWLEDGE the fact that I am so loving to myself. I allow myself to receive this love.

That is so key to this process. You have to acknowledge the love you are giving yourself, otherwise you’re not going to receive it.

Got it?

How do YOU practice self-love? I’d love to hear in the comments!

XO Maggie

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How I learned to slow down and stop over-exercising

The more time I spent going on hikes and exploring parks and trails, the more I realize that time spent in nature has greatly helped curate my perspective on movement and exercise.

 

Nature forced me to slow down.

 

I spent years swimming in lakes and oceans, cycling through hills and mountains, and running roads and trails. This was all in the name of triathlons, half-marathons, half-ironmans, dozens of 5ks and 10ks, a marathon, and an ironman.

 

The irony is not lost on me that it was my training for various races, over the course of about 5 years, that got me spending more and more time outside. To the point that outside became my most favorite place in the world (maybe second to curled up on the couch with a dog and a good book.)

 

Moving back to CT several years ago I found myself hiking and running trails in Easton, Redding, and Weston. I got a dog and spent even more time exploring local trails. I started booking trips not around races, but around nature – national parks, seashores, and other hidden treasures the earth had to show me.

 

I couldn’t exactly pinpoint it but I always felt like I couldn’t spend enough time outside. Even with bugs, heat, and humidity – I wanted more.

 

There was something big I was receiving. Some intangible yet powerful gift.

 

I was learning to slow down. Nature evolves at its own pace and I wanted to absorb every morsel I could. Every sound, every smell, every glimmer of sunlight through the trees. Every sweeping vista and mucky footprint. All of it. I felt a profound connection to something greater than myself.

 

My eyes welled with tears and I was rendered speechless when I first saw the Grand Canyon and Yosemite Valley. I wanted to feel this humility over and over again. Even by the babbling brooke on the trail in the town where I grew up reminded me of mother nature’s vastness and simplicity all at once.

 

So I kept hiking and I kept seeing and I kept feeling. And I began choosing a walk in the woods over pumping iron at the gym (don’t get me wrong – I still lift heavy things on occasion). I began listening much more acutely to the wishes of not just my body, but of my soul.

 

Now I fully acknowledge when I need the groundedness of the earth beneath my feet. I’ll touch a tree as I make my way down a trail and even when running through the woods, I’m no longer in a hurry.

 

And you can bet money this movement has nothing to do with burning calories or getting a yoga butt or anything like that.

 

It’s about feeling freedom. It’s about simplicity. It’s about being humbled by something much greater than myself. And it’s just about the deepest gratitude I have ever known in my human existence thus far.

 

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How I healed myself from my eating disorder

I healed myself from my eating disorder.

How?

Yoga

Meditation

Journaling and writing

Nature

Mindfulness

Breath awareness

But what this all ultimately amounted to was that I was (at times unknowingly) cultivating a spiritual practice.

I think I’ve always been spiritual but wasn’t fully aware of it until this past decade of spiritual growth.

And I read a sign the other day when I took a trip to my local dispensary that read:

Faith is not believing God can, it’s knowing that he will.

And insert any word you prefer for God: source, the Universe, vortex, nature, etc.

In my path to healing I always had the knowingness that I was not on this journey alone. I didn’t have a word for what (or who) was supporting and guiding me, but I always had faith that I was never alone.

Because for the human body and mind alone to recover from ANYTHING is a gargantuan task. In any recovery and healing process, we are always supported.

Whether that support comes in the way of discovering a meditation practice or stumbling upon teachers, coaches, and therapists that are able to guide you in just the right direction … or a book that truly illuminates what you have been wondering all along …

Universal support and guidance is ALWAYS available to you. You simply have to open up your body, mind, and soul to receive that guidance.

It does not mean that you don’t do any of the work. But that most of the work is in turning inward, getting quiet, and leaving space for that guidance to appear.

And so it was the tools of yoga, meditation, and writing that enabled me to open up this space for my spiritual intuition and connection to strengthen.

So that I was able to recognize (and to this day STILL recognize) when I was potentially harming myself – emotionally, physically, physiologically, etc.

And if I felt I could not do it alone, I asked for guidance.

I ask for guidance every single day. In every situation imaginable.

Again – this does NOT mean that I just sit there and wait for shit to happen. But when I take action, I do so with deep awareness. And I listen and I look for the guidance.

And guess what?

The guidance ALWAYS appears.

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THIS is the house of belonging

I have been thinking a lot about what it means
to feel a sense of belonging in our bodies and I shared
this with my email list this morning…

Because it’s about more than just loving our bodies.
It’s about a mindset that no one can fuck with my inner peace.

No one can tamper with my power.
No one can take away who I am at my core.

We only experience the above when
we ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN.

For example, someone once told me that I’m running
my business all wrong and how I should be running
my business completely differently.

This was unsolicited advice.
It came across very harsh. I thought the person
telling me all these things was mean and disrespectful.

And afterwards I felt completely deflated.
I blamed it on the person for months. I couldn’t shake it.

Until it hit me that I was allowing this person to tamper
with my power, my inner knowing, and my inner peace.

If anything this was a very valuable gift in
showing me this very lesson!

It took months for me to realize what was happening –
that I was the one putting myself down and questioning
myself by buying into and believing what this other person
said over my own beliefs.

When your inner knowing and intuition and connection to
your self and understanding of yourself are SO STRONG …

Not a single soul can mess with you.
Not a single soul can throw you off track.

We connect with that inner knowing through meditation, mindfulness,
and awareness throughout our entire day.

It’s a very simple concept. It’s not necessarily easy to get to that place,
but we ALL have the capacity to tap into our inner knowing and not get
so thrown off by external circumstances.

Because…
We always have this house of belonging, wherever we go.

Our bodies.

With Love,
Maggie

PS. Want more daily teachings and access to me?
Connect with me in one of my FB groups here:
>Living Beyond ED Recovery
>Belonging in The Body
XO

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The Diet Stops … HERE.

I’m re-launching my holistic health coaching program. I became a health coach many years ago because people kept asking me health-related questions and I wanted to be more informed and also because my sister was doing the program and it sounded interesting to me. Haha. Truth!

Becoming a health coach was an interesting process and initially once I became certified and got clients MOST of those clients just wanted to lose weight.

What I really wanted, at my core, was to teach people how to have a healthier relationship to food and exercise. And to do this from a spiritual place.

But I didn’t know how to say that. And actually I felt a little afraid people would judge or not want to work with me if I said the “S” word – spirituality.

Now, spirituality is a non-negotiable for me. All that really means is, I can’t not have it come up with the people I spend most of my time with. It doesn’t mean I force anything on anyone, but that the way I explain and understand most things in life comes from a spiritual place.

And so as I’m rebuilding my holistic health coaching program I am finally offering something that feels like a huge YES.

It feels like me because i’m not asking anyone to weigh themselves. EVER.
I’m not asking people to never eat certain foods.
I’m not asking people to watch as their waste band shrinks.

I mean, I never really asked people to do these things in the first place. But I feel more firm in my convictions now than ever.

I’m teaching people to love what they’ve already got.

OK, at the very least to accept what they’ve already got.

The body that God gave them.
The mind God gave them.
The soul God gave them.

You have to accept yourself and your circumstances, at all times. Or growth just will not happen. It might happen for a split second, but then you’ll go back to old habits and patterns.

So I ask this of my clients – accept yourself and your circumstances AT ALL TIMES. Then watch as you grow.

So growth starts from the place of true acceptance.

Once you get THAT ^^^ everything begins to fall into place.

That is a promise.

XO,
Maggie

PS. Stay tuned for the official announcement of my holistic health coaching program! If you want even more teachings like this and real-time video teachings from me, join my Spiritual Coaching for Living Beyond Recovery Facebook Group.

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Move because you are celebrating your body, not punishing it. Please.

Exercise is a whole different animal for me today than it was 12 years ago in the throes of my eating disorder. It’s even drastically different from how it was 1 year ago. Even 6 months ago.

 

I’m always growing. Allowing my soul to evolve and the more i let it rip and let my soul shine, the more fun I have.

 

To the point where playing with doing Bowspring on a Bosu ball at the gym gives me great joy. I feel like a kid playing with toys. My toys being the bosu ball and all the things i’ve learned and picked up along the way: yoga, lifting, running, bowspring.

 

Exercise is no longer about going to the gym and pounding out a workout. If it isn’t fun for me, i won’t do it. Like i took a barre class a couple weeks ago to try it out because it’s a part of my gym membership. But it was so boring and no offense to the teacher, she was doing her best. The class just didn’t resonate with me on a soul lifting level.

 

So i’ll go and i’ll challenge myself sometimes by doing workouts i find on pinterest or digging into my arsenal of exercises i’ve done with personal trainers.

 

Picking and choosing the things that are the most fun.

 

Like doing the stair climber and rocking out to “Sorry not sorry” — sorry not sorry to all the gym rats who gave me weird looks.

 

My point is – what’s the point of exercise if it does not elicit some joy? If you aren’t enjoying yourself?

 

I look around the gym sometimes to see the pained expression on so many people’s faces. Or I notice people checking themselves out in the mirror.

 

To be honest, my heart aches for them. I wish they could be in on my little secret.

 

But I know it took years and a lot of inner work to get to the place where I’m at.

 

There was a point in my life where I said i’d never again set foot in a gym. Not after how much abuse i put my body through over-exercising.

 

And now I am overjoyed that I can step foot in my gym and exercise as little or as much as i damn well feel like on any given day.

 

And you bet your butt I take days off. And relish in the rest.

 

Exercise and movement can be spiritual.

 

What’s not spiritual is exercising to look a certain way or to get rid of our belly or cellulite or whatever.

 

What is spiritual is exercising to bring ourselves closer to alignment. What is spiritual is exercise that makes you smile, laugh, or wanna dance. What is spiritual is feeling joy, elation, excitement, and celebration about life.

 

Move because you are celebrating your body, not punishing it. Please.

 

I wish you love in movement.

Maggie

Get more musings by signing up for my newsletter here —> http://eepurl.com/czLI35

Or join my free Facebook Group: Spiritual Living Beyond ED Recovery!

 

XOXO

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it all boils down to one thing: love

Sometimes I feel like I do so many different things. That i wear many different hats.
One day I’m with private yoga clients.
the next i’m at the recovery centers and then guiding a coaching client into their meditation practice.
and sometimes i feel like i wear too many hats…
but today i realized that all these “hats” are really just variations on a theme.
i work with people in the way that i can best connect with them.
whether it’s bowspring, yoga, meditation, health coaching, life coaching, or reiki… my intentions are always the same..

i hope and wish for people to feel aligned and connected.
i hope and wish for people to better understand and accept themselves.
i hope and wish for all people to know their purpose in life.
i hope and wish for people to know and understand that they are loved so that they may find unconditional, universal love. no matter the external circumstances.

i know that i’m good at what i do.
i know that i’m good at sharing my story.
i know that i’m good at reaching people.
i know that i’m good at holding space for people.

i know that i’m good at helping people understand that their bodies are a way to experience this planet, celebrate life, and feel joy.

if you’re interested in a class or 1:1 work with me in any capacity please use this link to connect with me. most of the work that i do IS customized. but it is all around creating connection. to your Self. to love.💖

CONNECT ⬇️⬇️⬇️

http://www.maggieconversemethod.com/connect-1/

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Recovery and Resilience

I have been in recovery from my eating disorder for 11 years now. I used to be really hard on myself when I’d have a set-back, like when I turned to compulsive exercising to find control and micromanage my body and it made me feel more accepted. Or the periods of time when I just didn’t like my body. When no clothes fit me the way I wanted them to. Or adhering to a certain diet and I’d lie to myself that this is just a healthy way of eating! I thought for sure I regressed for good and I’d find myself back in my full blown eating disorder.

But I’ve been learning over the past few years, as I’ve been sharing my story more and More with all you fantastic beings … I’m learning that I’m a human being. And what that means is I’m capable of falling. I’m capable of falling out of a feeling of connectedness, acceptance and love. And that’s perfectly ok. As long as I am aware of what is happening. And as long as I can trust that I will, in time, make my way back to connection.

I can now watch in those moments where I feel like crud in just about anything I put on … I watch my distorted body image mindset. I give myself the space I need to feel the emotions that are arising. I say hello to them. And I allow them to move. They are just energy that wants to move!

And so in this time I am learning more about recovery and especially my own. That it takes many different forms. It has so many different layers. I learn so much as I watch my own students in recovery! As they learn what it means to befriend a “new body”. As they learn about slipping out of connection and rising back into divine connection when they least expect it.

My own recovery means giving myself unconditional love over and over and over again. (You can never get too much of this love stuff). I’m sure some folks feel I overshare my story. But I’m not here for them. I am here for the beings who are on a genuine path to better understand themselves. To find TRUE love and connection. To remember that we will always rise. Thank you blessed beings. You all have my heart.

For free guided meditations and information on RESILIENCE, my new project, click here. XOXO

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When we feel a need for validation or approval…

I wonder if in that moment of feeling like we NEED someone else’s guidance, authority, approval, validation, etc. it means what we really need is to turn inward toward our own intuition and internal wisdom and guidance.

In those moments when we are scrambling for an answer…

For someone to point us in the right direction…

What if we were to let go and let God? Just, turn it over to the Universe. Get big on trust. Even ask for a sign. But the asking has to come from a loving, trusting, BIG YOU place. Not from your ego….

Turn inward and get quiet the next time you feel like you desperately need something from someone. And just see what happens.

Please feel free to share what you notice in the comments! I noticed a feeling of lightness when I turned this feeling of desperation and need for validation over the the Universe. I remembered my inner compass and intuition is strong and I am more powerful than I realize. I am eager to hear from you!

Need a meditation to get you grounded? Click here for my free meditations – available for a limited time! XO

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