Tag Archives: Meditation

Sometimes SELF-LOVE Looks Like This…

Are you going to run & hide?
Or are you going to grow?

When we are confronted with a challenge – we have a choice.

We can choose to run and hide and attempt to escape our problem. Out of fear for what we might feel or how difficult it might be to navigate the challenge. This is acting from, guess where… FEAR.

At first fear may feel like the easier road. But in reality it just means we are running from our pain, problems etc. and these things we attempt to avoid will keep coming up. Until we confront them, accept our circumstances and move through. Which sometimes can feel like trudging through sludge.

But this is the path of growth … of LOVE. Which may at first feel more difficult. Especially if we are used to acting from a fear place.

When we choose the path of growth each time we experience contrast (conflict, challenges, problems etc.) it gets easier. Yes it can seem to be more work. The work is so worth it.

The work my dears … is actually self-love. The work is asking ourselves the tough questions and really truly searching within for how we can grow.

This is love. 

Not avoiding, running, hiding.
But facing head-on.
Being brave to accept the current situation no matter how challenging it may seem.

This is love my darlings.

Sending you all the love and light in the world,

MC
Interested in 1:1 Intuitive Coaching, Reiki, Yoga or meditation with Maggie? Click here to get started.

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How I healed myself from my eating disorder

I healed myself from my eating disorder.

How?

Yoga

Meditation

Journaling and writing

Nature

Mindfulness

Breath awareness

But what this all ultimately amounted to was that I was (at times unknowingly) cultivating a spiritual practice.

I think I’ve always been spiritual but wasn’t fully aware of it until this past decade of spiritual growth.

And I read a sign the other day when I took a trip to my local dispensary that read:

Faith is not believing God can, it’s knowing that he will.

And insert any word you prefer for God: source, the Universe, vortex, nature, etc.

In my path to healing I always had the knowingness that I was not on this journey alone. I didn’t have a word for what (or who) was supporting and guiding me, but I always had faith that I was never alone.

Because for the human body and mind alone to recover from ANYTHING is a gargantuan task. In any recovery and healing process, we are always supported.

Whether that support comes in the way of discovering a meditation practice or stumbling upon teachers, coaches, and therapists that are able to guide you in just the right direction … or a book that truly illuminates what you have been wondering all along …

Universal support and guidance is ALWAYS available to you. You simply have to open up your body, mind, and soul to receive that guidance.

It does not mean that you don’t do any of the work. But that most of the work is in turning inward, getting quiet, and leaving space for that guidance to appear.

And so it was the tools of yoga, meditation, and writing that enabled me to open up this space for my spiritual intuition and connection to strengthen.

So that I was able to recognize (and to this day STILL recognize) when I was potentially harming myself – emotionally, physically, physiologically, etc.

And if I felt I could not do it alone, I asked for guidance.

I ask for guidance every single day. In every situation imaginable.

Again – this does NOT mean that I just sit there and wait for shit to happen. But when I take action, I do so with deep awareness. And I listen and I look for the guidance.

And guess what?

The guidance ALWAYS appears.

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Letting Feelings Flow (+ Free Meditation!)

One summer afternoon a few years back I was sitting at my desk. Ok, more like wriggling at my desk. I could not sit still and I could not focus on anything. I was worried about everything. I kept picking up my phone hoping for a text or call. I kept refreshing my email. I kept getting up and fixing myself tea, a snack, or looking for tasks around the house I could busy myself with.

 

I was looking for a distraction to drag me out of the immense discomfort I was experiencing. To add to it all, I had a terrible knot in the top of my stomach. It was a giant rope tied in a terrible, unyielding knot.

 

I could not get past the nagging feeling that something needed to be released but it was far too uncomfortable for me to address.

 

I remembered reading or hearing somewhere that when we have a difficult emotion, it often manifests physically in our body.

 

Slowly but surely I got myself onto my meditation cushion, closed my eyes, placed my right hand over the knot in my stomach, and focused all my attention on the physical sensation of the knot, instead of trying to figure out my emotional state.

 

Within a few short moments I started to cry. I had no idea where the tears were coming from. I trusted that they needed to flow. I kept watching the knot and saw it beginning to unravel!

 

As the knot unravelled I felt an overwhelming sense of relief sweeping over my body. I eased deeper into my meditation, sat for a few minutes longer, then I opened my eyes as I welcomed this renewed state of being.

 

So often when we feel discomfort or difficult emotions, we look for distraction. What if instead of turning toward our distraction of choice, we made space for the difficult emotions to flow and then be dissolved?

 

Click here for a short meditation where I guide you through this exact process. Use it any time you feel your body could use a little nudge to release some old emotions or energy that might be blocked up.

 

With Love,

Maggie

PS. If you like receiving free meditations and musings, please subscribe to my newsletter by CLICKING HERE. XO

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All You Have To Do Is Breathe

 

There is a misconception about meditation. That I am supposed to halt my thoughts and completely clear my mind. I thought this when I first ventured into meditation. And it immediately turned me away because I had so many thoughts and it felt like an insurmountable feat to ever completely clear my mind.

 

 

Imagine what a relief I felt when a teacher told me that wasn’t the case. It changed my meditation experience forever.

 

 

When we sit or lie down or walk in meditation, all you have to do is breathe.

 

 

And I love this because I call it to mind whenever I find myself in a sticky situation: whenever difficult thoughts or feelings surface and instead of turning to the worst case scenario and freaking out because I can’t come to a solution, I remind myself:

 

 

All You Have To Do Is Breathe.

 

 

So I’m sharing with you this free 5-minute meditation. It’s short (although I know sometimes 5 minutes CAN feel long). It’s simple.

 

And there’s more where that came from! 🙂 I’ll be sharing more guided meditations with you in my regular newsletters. Not subscribed? —-> CLICK HERE

 

If you have any questions about meditation please post in the comments below! 

With Love,

Maggie

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We must change our energy to change our lives.

We must change our energy to change our lives. – Panache Desai

Announcing: Group Reiki!

I have been practicing reiki with small groups in the specialized centers where I teach. Going into group reiki was purely based on my own intuition. I felt that the clients I was working with were open to it. And that little morsel of wisdom was spot on.

As a result I am opening this offering up to the public on February 10 at 2pm-3:15pm.

In this 75 minute class we will gather and spend the beginning of our time together setting intentions silently. You will be gently guided through a meditation while lying on your mat – using any and all props for your comfort. Tibetan singing bowls will play in the background as I go around the room, visiting with each person and delivering the Reiki.

What is asked of you?
That you be open. Really that is all! That you genuinely, sincerely be open to receive the positive energy that flows to you in abundance.

With Reiki, you, the recipient, are an active participant in the process. Watching your breath. Sincerely committing to being open to receive. And simply watching and witnessing what happens.

When we gather I will provide more direct guidance and as a follow-up to our group session each person will receive a 20 minute phone call and email support during the 2 weeks following the session. The purpose behind this is to simply provide support and guidance to you – for any questions and observations that arise.

Ultimately I want YOU to be able to really trust your intuition and inner wisdom. I’m just nudging you in that direction!

Please email me or comment with any questions. To sign up, simply email me at maggie.converse@gmail.com.

Space is very limited.

group (2)

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Do you want to know what enlightenment is?

Do you want to know what enlightenment is? It’s with you every moment.
-From East Forest Enlightenment. Click here to listen.

Enlightenment is with us every step of the way. But we forget that because we get bogged down by clutter. We get distracted: by thoughts, by the should’s, by what other people think of us.

I think of these distractions as junk in the attic. Or dresser drawers sostuffed to the brim that you can’t find that soft old t-shirt you love. You know, the one that really feels like you.

And so in order to better find that t-shirt, we’ve gotta get rid of the excess. We’ve gotta get rid of the clutter so that when we open the drawer, it’s clear. There’s the t-shirt!

Enlightenment, or Truth, or Self, is always shining bright. It’s a brilliant bright flame of a candle constantly burning. It’s the root of Love. It’s connection. And it’s our job to clear out the clutter, the excess so that we stay more connected to our candle. To our brilliance.

How do we stay connected? How do we stay aligned?
I want you to take a minute to think about things you do in your life that raise your vibration. What makes you feel the MOST comfortable in your own skin? What makes your heart swell? What makes YOU feel most like you?

Meditation is one way that can guide each of us to keep connecting with our candle. Whether it is a walking meditation through the woods, sitting down to play or listen to music, or sitting on our meditation pillow… meditation blasts through the clutter that dims our light. Meditation is a pathway to finding our candle. Again and again and again.

If sitting on a meditation pillow (or sitting in a chair) isn’t for you. Find your meditation. Especially during this time of year when we are hit from all directions with unnecessary stresses and worries. And if you are in need of some support with your meditation or have questions, just hit reply to this email.

The best gift you can give yourself, and anyone else, is connection. Alignment. Enlightenment. So be an example. Stay in your power, your strength, your light. You don’t even have to say anything to anyone.

Just watch …

May you remain in love and light this holiday season and into the new year.

XO
Maggie

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How Spiritual Practice Guided Me Into Eating Disorder Recovery

This was originally posted 9/28/17 on Nonpoliticalnews.com as “How Yoga Saved Me From Myself.”

I grew up going to Catholic Church every Sunday and CCD until I asked my mother in 8th grade if I could quit. I told her there were aspects of it that didn’t feel aligned with my beliefs and she agreed under the condition that my sister and I accompany her to the hippie church in the barn in the woods every Sunday. We complied.

I hold nothing against the church, or any organized religion. I am aware that many people derive deep healing and goodness from religion. My religion, however, wasn’t serving me. Little did I know I was already on a spiritual path in 8th grade and I recognized that the Catholic Church didn’t support that path.

I have had issues with my body since I was a child. My earliest memory was that my little puffy tummy was a problem. I prayed it would go away by the time I was a grown-up.

Fast forward to high school. I was tall and had body dysmorphia. I believed my body was unsightly.

By my first semester of college I developed bulimia nervosa. It felt like a completely normal thing to do as a means to having a sense of control. On the surface, I saw nothing wrong with the behaviors I was committing to.

My best friend and boyfriend at the time were the only ones who knew and they did everything they could to help but overall I isolated myself.

I lived in my mind: constantly calculating calories. I sought control over food and my body. But mostly I wanted control over every aspect of my life. Food and my body were the most attainable way to feel any semblance of control.

There is a lot from this dark period that I don’t remember. I’ve blocked it out for self-preservation. I was also so distracted by my obsessive mindset and behavior that I detached and disassociated from my body and college experience.

In college I found a yoga studio. I had been practicing yoga since age 16 but there was something about going to this no-frills studio that resembled the rituals of going to church but this time it felt right; it felt like a spiritual match.

No one said: a spiritual practice will heal you! But this is exactly what happened. As I practiced yoga regularly, I also grew my spirituality. I integrated yoga teachings into daily life.

When I learned the yogic practice of non-violence I saw my eating disorder as being brutally violent toward myself. I had to stop.

My primary concern for years was controlling my body/appearance since I couldn’t control the world around me. I was operating on a very small-minded level.

As soon as I decided I was going to heal from my eating disorder, I felt at ease. I surrendered and loosened my grip on control. My world-view expanded. I valued my intelligence, my passions, and my relationships. I felt like I was part of something greater than myself and my appearance.

This was over 12 years ago. Today yoga is still part of my spiritual practice. Today I walk in nature and connect to something greater than myself. I meditate and remember we transcend our bodies. I spend time with my dog and cats, friends and family, and revel in the relationships I cultivated. My spirituality is all around me and is in my daily life.

I’m not saying you need a spiritual practice to live a good life. I’m saying it worked for me. And it keeps me in recovery from my eating disorder, every day.

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One day I decided NO MORE

I know how to do the hard stuff. That doesn’t mean the hard stuff isn’t hard. Or that it doesn’t feel like work.

I know how to muck through shit.

Why?

Because I’ve mucked through shit before. I’ve had to completely re-haul my patterns, my habits, my behaviors and my beliefs around my body, food, exercise, and my self-worth.

And do you know that I did a lot of it {at first} on my own?

Of course I reached out to people when I FINALLY freakin’ realized “It’s OK to ask for help!” And then those people got me even further on my path of doing the work.

But it’s a powerful realization to sit down with: You can alter your patterns, habits, behaviors, and beliefs.

It’s a journey.

And I’m going to tell you, the most difficult part of the journey {for me anyway} is saying I want to make these shifts. Is saying I want help.

Not just from this person and that person and this other person over there. But accepting help… no wait … RECEIVING help in the myriad of ways it comes to you.

One day I decided NO MORE with my eating disorder. I was probably mid-forward fold in yoga class. Sweating through my tank top. And I made this decision on my own. For myself.

No one said to me: Maggie, you have to stop.

No one said to me: Maggie, no more.

Actually, that’s not entirely true.

Because I said it to me! I decided I was done. I decided I WANTED to change the way I treated myself. I decided I wanted to change my relationship with myself.

I decided I was ready to take my emotional journey one step further.

I decided it was time to turn down (way down) the volume on self-hate and self-loathing.

I didn’t decide because someone told me. Because hardly anybody knew in the first place!

This is not to say there’s no room for support from others. This is not to say there’s no room for interventions in this world.

But the person in the seat of “needing change” has GOT to be the one to ultimately flip the switch and choose the direction of their emotional, physical, and spiritual journey.

This is so powerful to me because when I am confronted with a new challenge, a new pattern in my life to shift {example: I did it with my romantic relationships!} I know that I can do it.

Does it mean it’s gonna be easy peasy? NOPE. It’s still gonna be damn hard.

Does it mean it’s gonna be so worth it? YES.

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I used to want to be anything other than myself.

I love listening to talk radio in the mornings. Like the early early mornings 7am and earlier – on my way to see clients.

It’s one of those “guilty pleasures” although I feel no guilt about it. So, it’s one of my pleasures.

Z100, 95.5 are two of my favorites. Though Z100 has a soft spot in my heart because I have been listening since I was a teenager. Wow!

And I do listen to news on occasion but when it’s this early (we are talking in the car by 5:45am some mornings) I need to keep it light. I want to hear my horoscope and how the Shaun Mendes concert was last night.

Something I notice is that when they take breaks on the radio they often segue into a segment about “I’m using this fabulous product for body contouring. This body contouring product gives me confidence and makes me happy!”

I don’t blame the DJs. They are simply doing their job. And usually I turn down the volume or flip to another channel because: listening to this does not serve me.

Also, in my head I am saying:

People: body contouring alone is not the quick fix that’s gonna make you happy people

What I want to do sometimes (in my little dream world in my head) is this:

Call into the station and start talking about how body contouring or going on a diet and losing weight might give you confidence … but it’s temporary.

The only way the confidence and joy and happiness will stick is if you do the inner work.

These qualities we want in life, they’re an inside job. They do not come from our external circumstances or conditions.

While we might feel extremely excited and happy when we get a dog – the excitement wears off if we aren’t truly committed to accepting and loving the whole dog experience unconditionally. We can’t sign up for a dog just to snuggle with us when we are feeling blue. We have to commit to it all: the daily walks, picking up poop, training the dog, taking it to the vet.

We have to commit to accepting and loving the whole human experience unconditionally. The highs and lows. The fuck-ups and the accomplishments. The stability and instability. The joy and the pain. The growth and the loss.

The way I see it, I have three ways I can respond to these radio ads:

  1. Be convinced that yes, I do need to change the way my body looks in order to feel good. Period.
  2. Get angry. Get angry that these ads perpetuate the judgment and hate that permeates so much of our society.
  3. See it as an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to see the contrast: they are telling me one thing and I’m just like “Nope. Actually I like that my left thigh has that little dimple in it. I don’t even care about my thighs looking smooth and seamless anymore. Or the rest of my body. I want all the shapes and dents and dimples… all of them. I actually feel really good in my body.” And so forth. This is the new story. And i can go on with it. For a long, long time.

In total honesty, I sometimes do get angry. But if I stay angry, that’s choosing my old story and I’m already living the new one. So I don’t want to linger in the old anger story for too long.

In fact, I stay there less and less and it gets easier to move from #2 to #3. Or jump right to #3.

It took me years to get over not being perfect. And I’m not just talking about my body. I’m talking my clothes, my writing, my vocabulary, my education, anything you can think of – I was severely judgmental toward myself. I was convinced that if I wasn’t happy all the time, I was failing. I believed that if I was angry or jealous or sad or did anything imperfectly, I was failing.

I used to feel so sad that I wasn’t something else. I used to feel disappointed that I wasn’t anything other than myself.

And now … now I wouldn’t want to be anything other than myself. Even on the dark days. Even where there is struggle.

I take myself. I love myself no matter what.

For anyone out there who hears these radio ads (or any other messages from media or society telling you that your body needs to be a different way in order to be accepted/happy/confident) and jumps to #1 … I encourage you to explore the inner work first.

There’s no rush. Just check in and see what happens.

If you’d like some guidance on getting to the inner work, please fill out my contact form and we can set up a call. 

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But… What if I mess up?

Sometimes I hide behind the veil of:

 

I’m afraid of being wrong / What if I’m wrong?

 

Or it might sound something like this:

 

What if they judge me? (Which really is “what if I slay the judgement on myself?)

 

OR…

What if I mess up? WHAT IF I MESS UP?

 

Because GOD FORBID I mess up!!! Then what?!??! (<<<the internal dialogue.)

 

THIS is the {very old} drum I catch myself beating when something feels scary. When I was climbing down waterfalls and up steep ledges last weekend in New Hampshire, I found myself physically STUCK at times. And do you know why that is? Because I was so fucking scared of messing up.

 

Because even after many years of working on myself, there are still the occasional moments where these mindsets feel like dear old friends. They feel familiar. They feel comfortable. They feel, in a funny way, safe.

 

When I know damn well these mindsets hold me back. These mindsets prohibit me from:

 

Asking for what I need.

Speaking my truth.

Taking a chance on something I believe in.

Feeling fucking amazing.

Embracing my successes and building them.

 

There is a perfectionist within me that has definitely gotten smaller and less prevalent over the years. But sometimes, she likes to rear her little head and say things like:

 

But … what if you fuck this up? Better to keep quiet. Better to shut down than be your big bold self.

 

So where do we go when we feel stuck in old patterns?

 

The good news: the only way to go is up.

 

Make a shift. Ask for what you need. Give less fucks about being judged or being wrong or MESSING UP.

 

And in fact, GET CURIOUS about what happens when you mess up. Because is it really so bad? Usually… nope.

 

And… you can never really mess up because … even if it feels like you mess up … you always have the opportunity to learn something.

 

Thank you for tuning in and reading (if you’ve made it this far.)

 

Tell me: what are your old patterns/beliefs and how do you bust through them?

I provide loads of this kind of work and guidance in my fall mentorship. To help you bust through old beliefs, patterns, and thoughts. Trust me, it’s good stuff. Click this link>>> http://www.maggieconversemethod.com/events/2017/9/15/fall-mentorship

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