Sometimes when I pour my heart out to someone I am left with a gaping hole.
How will it be received?
How will they respond?
Will what I said even make sense?
And if it’s on a Sunday (or a day when I don’t have a whole lot to do) I’ll pace around the house.
Making myself an extra cup of coffee.
Reading a few pages of a book.
Check my phone.
Then picking up my book only to read the same paragraph 3 times over.
Because my mind is just focusing on one thing:
What if they judge me?
What if they leave me?
What if they abandon me?
Because I shared something in my heart that felt like truth, that felt like there was no other option but to share this particular something…
And then I read and hear what I’ve just shared with you above:
What if they judge / leave / abandon me?
And I come to realize that the real crux of the matter here, is this:
What if I judge / leave / abandon me?
I know, when I feel this uneasy and worried about receiving validation from another human being, in a very specific form, it is a deep call to stand by my own side. It is a reminder to relinquish judgment and embrace the ways in which I express love and emotions. It is a call to do the things that make me feel cared for.
I show up for myself in the way that I show up for my dear friends when they are feeling uneasy.
I show up and trust that no matter how the world and its inhabitants may waver around me (and waver they will), I’ve always got a safe place deep within the chambers of my heart and the vessel of my physical form.
Show up for yourself today, the way you would for your best friend.
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