Tag Archives: ed awareness

THIS is the house of belonging

I have been thinking a lot about what it means
to feel a sense of belonging in our bodies and I shared
this with my email list this morning…

Because it’s about more than just loving our bodies.
It’s about a mindset that no one can fuck with my inner peace.

No one can tamper with my power.
No one can take away who I am at my core.

We only experience the above when
we ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN.

For example, someone once told me that I’m running
my business all wrong and how I should be running
my business completely differently.

This was unsolicited advice.
It came across very harsh. I thought the person
telling me all these things was mean and disrespectful.

And afterwards I felt completely deflated.
I blamed it on the person for months. I couldn’t shake it.

Until it hit me that I was allowing this person to tamper
with my power, my inner knowing, and my inner peace.

If anything this was a very valuable gift in
showing me this very lesson!

It took months for me to realize what was happening –
that I was the one putting myself down and questioning
myself by buying into and believing what this other person
said over my own beliefs.

When your inner knowing and intuition and connection to
your self and understanding of yourself are SO STRONG …

Not a single soul can mess with you.
Not a single soul can throw you off track.

We connect with that inner knowing through meditation, mindfulness,
and awareness throughout our entire day.

It’s a very simple concept. It’s not necessarily easy to get to that place,
but we ALL have the capacity to tap into our inner knowing and not get
so thrown off by external circumstances.

Because…
We always have this house of belonging, wherever we go.

Our bodies.

With Love,
Maggie

PS. Want more daily teachings and access to me?
Connect with me in one of my FB groups here:
>Living Beyond ED Recovery
>Belonging in The Body
XO

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Move because you are celebrating your body, not punishing it. Please.

Exercise is a whole different animal for me today than it was 12 years ago in the throes of my eating disorder. It’s even drastically different from how it was 1 year ago. Even 6 months ago.

 

I’m always growing. Allowing my soul to evolve and the more i let it rip and let my soul shine, the more fun I have.

 

To the point where playing with doing Bowspring on a Bosu ball at the gym gives me great joy. I feel like a kid playing with toys. My toys being the bosu ball and all the things i’ve learned and picked up along the way: yoga, lifting, running, bowspring.

 

Exercise is no longer about going to the gym and pounding out a workout. If it isn’t fun for me, i won’t do it. Like i took a barre class a couple weeks ago to try it out because it’s a part of my gym membership. But it was so boring and no offense to the teacher, she was doing her best. The class just didn’t resonate with me on a soul lifting level.

 

So i’ll go and i’ll challenge myself sometimes by doing workouts i find on pinterest or digging into my arsenal of exercises i’ve done with personal trainers.

 

Picking and choosing the things that are the most fun.

 

Like doing the stair climber and rocking out to “Sorry not sorry” — sorry not sorry to all the gym rats who gave me weird looks.

 

My point is – what’s the point of exercise if it does not elicit some joy? If you aren’t enjoying yourself?

 

I look around the gym sometimes to see the pained expression on so many people’s faces. Or I notice people checking themselves out in the mirror.

 

To be honest, my heart aches for them. I wish they could be in on my little secret.

 

But I know it took years and a lot of inner work to get to the place where I’m at.

 

There was a point in my life where I said i’d never again set foot in a gym. Not after how much abuse i put my body through over-exercising.

 

And now I am overjoyed that I can step foot in my gym and exercise as little or as much as i damn well feel like on any given day.

 

And you bet your butt I take days off. And relish in the rest.

 

Exercise and movement can be spiritual.

 

What’s not spiritual is exercising to look a certain way or to get rid of our belly or cellulite or whatever.

 

What is spiritual is exercising to bring ourselves closer to alignment. What is spiritual is exercise that makes you smile, laugh, or wanna dance. What is spiritual is feeling joy, elation, excitement, and celebration about life.

 

Move because you are celebrating your body, not punishing it. Please.

 

I wish you love in movement.

Maggie

Get more musings by signing up for my newsletter here —> http://eepurl.com/czLI35

Or join my free Facebook Group: Spiritual Living Beyond ED Recovery!

 

XOXO

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How letting go of the desire to control everything slowly granted me emotional freedom

I am investigating the importance of speaking my truth. And acknowledging, allowing, and accepting my emotions.

We hear that a lot. At least I do. From teachers and coaches and writers and influencers. And sometimes it makes sense to me but sometimes I’m like “I know I’m saying this thing that is GOOD but I don’t fully understand why.”

And last night something came together.

Last night I started to further understand – in my body and soul – the importance of not only speaking my own truth, but acknowledging, accepting, and allowing my feelings instead of shaming myself for having certain feelings {i.e. sadness, guilt, despair, etc.}

Sometimes I am afraid to say how I feel because I am scared to let people down. I am scared of messing something up. I am scared of causing someone pain. I am scared of upsetting something.

And so what does all of the  above really mean?

It means that I sometimes find myself terrified of speaking my truth and my feelings because I don’t want to lose control over a situation.

For a long time this was my default. And so, I would remain silent. For fear I would cause an upset, to myself or another person. I was afraid I’d lose control.

And so, I remained silent.

Silence is still sometimes my jam. But it doesn’t always serve me.

And I’ve spent a huge portion of the last decade learning about my own emotions. Primarily, what exactly to do (or not do) with them.

What I realized in that instant I uttered those words [I am afraid to say how I feel because…] is that I internalized the feelings, the hurt, the discomfort , and the pain.

And all of that discomfort materialized into more visible symptoms like anxiety, panic, and an eating disorder.

So what’s the point of even coming to this conclusion?

The point is that I see even greater value in being able to acknowledge and allow my feelings to process and to express them when a situation calls for it.

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve bit my tongue and not said how I felt or what I thought because I feared judgment and I feared my world spinning out of control.

Freaking Control…

So now it’s about loosening the reigns on control. It’s about stepping into the emotions because when I do just that, they aren’t so scary or overwhelming and, usually, after giving them some of my attention (not ALL of it) they slowly fade away.

I don’t suppress them anymore. I don’t pretend that I don’t feel these uncomfortable icky feelings anymore. (And I used to because in my mind that meant I had no control over myself >>> which inevitably led to an eating disorder.)

I recognize that I too am human. I recognize that the emotions I deal with on a daily basis are part of the human experience.

While it may take me a little longer than some to move through emotions, I’m ok with that. I’m learning. I’m being patient with myself.

I’m also learning that emotions don’t have to take the lead! Which means… I’m stepping into my power.

I soften to what I feel. I surrender. I don’t give up on myself. But there’s something in THAT [the softening and surrender] that, for me, let’s the emotions feel less scary. I remember that they, like all things, will eventually pass.

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