Category Archives: love

Just. Keep. Growing.

I corrected myself last week when I told my friend “I quit my job at the gym.” Because I didn’t quit. The position ran its course and I felt I had outgrown it. It was also a choice I had to make out of integrity and self-respect.

 

It was a difficult choice because the position was so easy, familiar, and comfortable. I was constantly surrounded by students who I had gotten to know over my 3 years teaching there. And when it came time to say goodbye … Hello feelings! I sobbed in front of a room full of students.

 

In this life we are given choice: what to eat for lunch, who we enter into relationship with, what career path we’d like to follow. But do we always make the choice that serves us best? How do we even KNOW what choice serves us?

 

When we make a choice out of fear, the answer (in my humble opinion) is no.

 

When we make a choice out of love, the answer is yes.

 

Even if the choice is painful and means we cry in front of a room full of students. Even if we are afraid we’ve made some terrible mistake because leaving something so comfortable is scary.

 

So I didn’t quit my job. I grew. I grew to become a person with more self-respect than I did, say, this time last year. I grew to trust that it’s OK to let go.

 

And it is my intention to just keep growing.

 

May you find opportunity for growth in every choice you make.

 

With Love,

Maggie

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If you find yourself on the precipice of punishment…

When we punish ourselves we stop the positive energy from flowing and squash our vibration.

When we punish ourselves, we are stopping a good thought, feeling, belief that wants to be set free and acknowledged and felt.

Do not beat yourself up for punishing yourself.
That’s like double damage.
Instead notice when and how you do it, with cat-like curiosity (because they are curious damnit!).

What does it look like? What does it feel like?
WHERE do you feel it in your body?

If you find yourself on the precipice of punishment, check in with us here.

If you find yourself on the verge of punishment, write shit down. Let it be messy and uncensored.

If you find you are on the verge of punishment, breathe.

I learned this week I’ve been punishing myself by telling myself I am undeserving of my dreams being fulfilled. Well, I manifested one today – BECAUSE I COULD – and I broke through a huge block and my mindset is starting to shift… FAST.

My loves – to remind you – if you feel you are punishing yourself FOR ANY REASON (too much cake, not enough exercise, not enough money, not enough work, etc. etc. etc.) pause and check in.

 

Join my High Vibe Body Image Tribe on Facebook or email me at maggie@maggieconverse.com

XOXO

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These days I give way less f*cks about way more things…

I find that the older I get and the more I accept my body, like myself, and build a loving relationship with myself the list of things I give zero (or nearly zero) fucks about grows.

To name a few:

  • Shaving my legs consistently / having leg stubble.

  • Being tan. Because for a short while I used to really really want to have tan glowing skin. But I just don’t, and I never will, except for sometimes in the summer when the light hits just so after several days outside. But naturally I am rather pale with lots of freckles and moles.

  • Wrinkles. Someone once said wrinkles were a sign of a joy-filled life. Or something like that. And I concur.

  • Cellulite on my thighs. Cellulite on my tummy. Cellulite ANYWHERE.

  • And for that matter: trying to hide my cellulite. I’m done!

  • Brushing my hair / washing my hair more than 1-2 times per week.

  • When my weight fluctuates. Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down!

It’s not that I don’t make myself presentable or put on makeup or blowdrying my hair (ok maybe 5 times per year) but it’s that I’ve learned to finally let myself off the hook for these things. I’ve stopped stressing about them.

Because, there are far more important things and beings and places and experiences that are so much more deserving of my energy and attention.

In case you needed it, I am inviting you to let yourself off the hook for something today. Go a little easier on yourself.

Oh and email me … ANYTIME.

Sending My Love,

Maggie

PS. I am offering my Body Image Master Training at a special rate of $525 (originally $700) with code DITCHTHEDIET. What better way to spring clean than getting out some of the mind clutter?

Learn more about my Body Image Coaching Master Training by clicking here.

To register: CLICK HERE 

 

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It’s Valentine’s Day, I’m single, and loved.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

A Course in Miracles

This is the first time I’ve been single on Valentine’s Day in a very long time. It’s something I always dreaded. I am pleased to report: I feel better on this v-day than any other in recent history. 

We are all navigating love in all our relationships: friends, family, our beloved(s) and most importantly self-love. We are all doing our best. 

I’ve always been really hard on myself when it came to romantic love. Since age 18 it’s been easy for me to meet someone, dive heart-first into a relationship, and fall in love. I’m what you’d call a “serial monogamist.” I’ve said I love you to 7 people in a timespan of 15 years. I don’t know what that means. For a while I thought something was seriously wrong with me. Am I ‘Addicted to love’ like the hit 80s tune?

I’m letting go of shame over my ability to fall into relationships and into love. I’ve carried a butt load of shame about my collection of relationships. I spent more of my 20s in relationships than single. The more ex-boyfriends i accrued, the more reluctant I became to tell each new partner there were so many before him. 

Not to mention the immense shame I felt each time one of those relationships ended. It was like there goes another failed attempt at love. 

I felt like I had a screw loose. That something was fundamentally wrong with me. How was it that I could find these men and fall in love and then out of love so easily? I had gotten really adept at the process. 

Turns out all these partners were exactly what I needed at that moment. I needed them to reflect back to me what I needed to work through. Some people can do this solo- I guess my growth thrived from the influence of relationships, especially the ones that seemed exceedingly unhealthy. 

It’s been 7 months since my last serious relationship ended. Full transparency: I’ve been dating since then and I’ve met some pretty remarkable men. But I haven’t fallen in love with any of them. 

This is a record  for me. And I know it’s because there’s someone else. It’s me.

I’m learning what it means to love myself. Not in an ego way. But in a deep, soulful way. I finally understand now that the more I am able to accept and love myself exactly as I am, the more space I create for a fitting partner who accepts and loves themselves in the same way. 

So this is my love path right now. There’s no rule book for love. Sure there are plenty of books out there about love but honestly there is no one right way to navigate love and relationships. As one of my friends once told me: The heart’s truth is never convenient.

Sometimes we meet people at what seems like the most inopportune time- but our heart soars just from the simplest exchange with them. And sometimes we meet people who seem perfect in theory! On paper they are exactly what we thought we wanted. But when we try to put the pieces together it just doesn’t fit. 

We all have to ride the infinite feelings and adventures of love. We all have a unique path and hopefully we can offer some help to each other along the way. And whether we have a partner or not, may we all remember to keep filling up our self-love tank. 

Here’s to love. 

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embracing my softness

i am embracing my softness.
my body goes through changes. I keep growing. When I’m running regularly my body looks different / maybe more toned? In my head I feel like a ripped badass. I felt this way during my 5 consecutive years of triathlons…
those days are long gone now.

but why not feel like a badass in my softness too? it’s usually the colder months when my body goes into softening mode. i notice it in my arms since i’m still wearing tanks when i’m teaching. i’ll catch a glimpse of myself in the studio mirror and notice it around my belly since my pants don’t fit quite the same and i have a little belly puff over the elastic waistband.

every year i’m getting more and more used to the softness. and feeling equally badass, if not more so, as a soft maggie, than a more firm/toned maggie.

i’m getting more accustomed to it, embracing it even, because of this: i am not defined by what my body looks like. i am not better for being toned. i am not bad for being softer. i also am not better for being soft! and i am not worse for being toned! ha! See how that works there? I know – I’m still wrapping my brain around it.

It’s all good though. All of it. All the shapes and sizes and stages our bodies go through. because the real maggie, the real you, is within. it’s untouchable and it’s felt through connection, through exchange, and through energy. Amen.

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Go With What You Know

It’s good to go with the flow. But it’s better to go with what you know – what you know to be true for you. Trusting yourself is the ultimate lesson. It’s where all the guidance leads.

-Melody Beattie

A few days before New Years Eve I was on my way to meet someone. As I was getting dressed to leave my house for dinner I had a funny feeling in my stomach. I questioned whether or not I should cancel but then didn’t want to be so abrupt last minute. But even as I got into my car and drove the 2 miles to South Norwalk the funny mudded feeling started morphing into a very clear “No, no, no, no, no.”

As in “No, don’t go.”

I hushed my intuitive voice but it roared loudly as I spent 10 minutes searching for parking. (This never happens to me!)

Shit, I thought. My intuition is really trying to tell me something.

But I wanted to be the cool, laid back girl who just goes with the flow.

I’m like, whatever! Easy breezy!

An hour into dinner I learned some unsettling (but not at all life threatening) news. Unsettling enough however that I could no longer remain in this person’s presence. My time had been wasted and I felt like a fool. I communicated this, calmly.

I requested the waiter give me my food to go and left this someone on their own. I still feel slightly guilty for not paying my share of the bill but … karma can be a bitch.

Suffice it to say I knew all along SOMETHING was up. And if I’m being really honest with myself, I could feel my intuition trying to tell me something the day before.

Only I talked myself out of it and blew it off as overreacting to something silly.

Perhaps this unsettling event needed to happen. It needed to remind me just how powerful my intuition is and that I could use a little brush-up on my listening skills. It reminded me to go with what I know.

If going with the flow is sometimes like following the shoulds or following the crowd, going with what you know is blazing your trail and honoring your truth. Even if it can get a little uncomfortable at times.

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My ME-ness Is More Powerful Than a Wrinkle On My Forehead

There were three of us in the room Monday night at the eating disorder recovery center. Two students, plus me. Something about all our energies combined made for a very sweet vibration in the room that night. The electronic candles were scattered around the makeshift altar and I had soothing spa-like music playing on my Beats Pill.

The woman with the flowing grey hair wore a shirt with a radish on it. We started off the class in lighthearted banter talking about “trigger clothing” and how her radish (or turnip depending on how you looked at it) shirt managed to escape the search when she was first admitted to the center a couple months ago.

It escapes me what theme I gravitated to for this particular practice because what stands out so much is what it felt like to be in that room with them, and what happened after our class…

I taught them but I received so much. It felt effortless to guide the two women through a series of seated poses, to all fours, back to a seat, and finally to a restorative pose where they were able to luxuriate for over 10 minutes.

I closed the practice by giving them some reiki and felt extremely moved by both women’s willingness to be so open and vulnerable with me.

After I called them back to their bodies, the space, the breath, and the two sat up, one woman turned to the other woman and said:

“I have to say that you just looked so beautiful in that twisted pose,” as she emulated the flowing grey haired woman’s posture and demeanor.

She continued:

“You looked so confident and proud.”

“The next time I see you slouching around the house I’m going to remind you what you’re capable of,” she said with a laugh.

I refrained from any kind of commentary on this exchange I was fortunate to witness and just allowed it to happen, amazed for one by my student’s ability to see another woman with such high regard. To lift her up instead of compare.

The confident and proud woman RECEIVED the compliment with such grace and humility. She then in turn said how she’s going to sign up for yoga when she returns home. How it has changed her. How she now finds a new engagement and fascination with her own body and how it moves and works in a multitude of ways.

“Like if I move my right hip a little wider I feel stronger and then my shoulders can broaden,” she explained.

Oh my goddess I was in heaven just listening to this. I didn’t need to direct them. I didn’t need to insert my own feelings on the subject. These two women had learned so much, had grown leaps and bounds. I just watched them taking what they were learning and letting it rip!

Now I just have to keep believing that yoga has an incredible ability to support women in their path to recovery from eating disorders.

I’ve said this so many times before in earlier blog posts but … Yoga Healed Me.

Just a few weeks ago I found myself talking to a friend who is 4 years sober and found sobriety and recovery through the amount of time he spends outdoors: hiking, climbing, camping, you name it. I found myself thinking about how we all have such individual healing and recovery paths.

In those early years of recovery when I was at my worst I never went to treatment, barely spoke to a therapist (I can count – it was 3 sessions), and didn’t even tell a medical doctor about my bulimia until years after the worst was over.  

This isn’t to say these are not viable, successful options for recovery. It is my belief that they are.

For me though my path was, and still is, yoga. (It should be noted that in the 10 or so years since the worst of my eating disorder I have integrated therapy and life coaching among other healing modalities onto my path and I include this information in every health history I complete).

First yoga was about understanding my body better. Much like my dear student who found fascination with the movement of her hips, I started to love the way my body moved. I loved my thighs for how strong they were.

These days it keeps hitting me that my yoga practice has illuminated a path toward a deeper understanding of this:

I am not just my body or my cellulite or my round tummy. Nor am I just how well my clothes fit. I am not just my migraines. I am not just my relationship to food. I am not just my eating disorder. And, as much as my ego hates to admit it, I am not just my personality. My Maggie-ness, my ME-ness transcends AND encompasses all of that. My ME-ness is part of a universal energy that is so much larger and more powerful than a wrinkle on my forehead.

There is still an infinite amount of understanding and learning and knowing I have left to do. And because this is something that feels very big and infinite and scary and exciting, I’m going to pause. Let this marinade and … To be continued…

With Love,

Maggie

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I remember…

I remember..

Ballet class.

And trying to squeeze into my pink tights and black leotard.

I remember…

How the tights made an impression around my belly, that no leotard, skirt, or dance shorts could hide. To my great disappointment.

I remember sucking in my stomach because I believed having any kind of belly made me overweight and therefor “bad.”

I worried that I was the biggest girl in class.

I remember comparing myself to the other girls.

I wished I had slimmer, streamlined bodies like theirs.

I remember looking in the mirror and seeing a flailing mess of a 10 year old girl.

And when I think back to this girl who hated the sight of herself so much, I give her a soft pat on the back and a giant hug. I tell her she is enough, exactly as she is. Smart enough. Strong enough. Beautiful enough.

I tell her it’s ok to have the extra cookie at snack time. She’ll grow into her body and one day look back at photos of herself and be amazed by what a dancing fool she was!

I tell the 10 year old version of me that one day she won’t care about doing sit-ups or eliminating all the fat from her body. And that it’s gonna feel so freeing!

And she’s going to look to other women for support and inspiration, instead of comparing herself.

This is a small part of my story. And I can’t help but think, some of it might resonate with you. Or your children. It’s why I created my Raising Role Models program.

Where we, as adults, provide the best opportunity possible for the children and youth in our lives to grow up with self-esteem and healthy body image.

Please take a look at the mini training I put together. In it I offer 3 shifts you can make TODAY, on your own that will shift not only your own body image, but also your child’s.

Click here to watch my Raising Role Models video.

And if you’d like to learn a little more, I encourage you to sign up for a free call with me this week by clicking the link below.

Click here for your free call with me.

With love, always,
MC

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What is the purpose of our deepest emotions?

Our deepest and darkest emotions are not merely to put us in an everlasting state of sadness.

How many times have you experienced pain only to ask: Why? Or … Why me?

We don’t experience pain simply for pain’s sake.

Osho explains this concept very eloquently:

This pain is not to make you sad, remember this is where people go on missing… this pain is just to make you more alert – because people become alert only when the arrow goes deep into their heart and wounds them.

Take a moment and consider the moments in your life that have really moved you. Pushed you forward on your journey.

It might have been the end of a relationship, a death, a betrayal, or financial struggle.

But what happens when the arrow pierces us deeply in our heart?

If we are open to it, we become more alert and wake up to the world around us and the gifts the universe has in store for us.

We make decisions based on what will truly serve us, help us heal, shift us away from unhealthy patterns.

And sometimes we do need the arrow to go deep to become more alert. Sometimes we do need the wound to wake up.

When we are more alert we become connected to our truth instead of our ego.

And when we connect with truth over ego, our slate gets wiped clean and we see things more clearly. Our path is less clouded by the weeds of distractions and priorities come into alignment.

So the next time you are confronted with pain, or even discomfort, sit with it and see where it takes you. Allow it to wake you up to something perhaps you’ve never truly seen before.

May our learning never end.

With Great Love,
MC

PS. Click here if you’d like to schedule a discovery call with me. I’ve got time slots blocked out for the next week or so and would love to connect one-on-one with you.

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Opening Up About My Experience in Relationships

This morning I woke up feeling shitty.
Migraine and broken hearted.
Not just over my most recent split, but all of them.
There is a voice in me saying – come clean.
You’ve hidden all of this for far too long to keep it up and put on a brave face.
My heart is full of scars that have not fully healed and it’s coming to a head.

All of it.
The men. The relationships.
The stories I’ve clung to that have built up resentment.
The roles I not only played but also identified with.

Whenever a relationship took a turn for the worse, I’d turn to food or controlling my appearance somehow [running, over-exercising, or dieting].
I focused on: how do I control?
Instead of: How do I leave room to heal?
It was always brush it under the rug.
Drop them. Drop him.
Let him go.

Well, I did let him go. Every time.
Maybe a little too much.
I moved right on to the next one. Without a second thought.

But the residual pain clung tightly – wrapped around my heart.
Tighter and tighter as time passed.

And it brings me to right now.
Piles of relationships and breakups never fully processed.
All of the pain is coming to the surface.

I bounce from one memory to the next in my dreams and in meditation.
Uncovering decisions I make now that are based on past experiences.
Not always proud of the way I treated people.
Often wishing I’d let myself be single and process.
And witnessing the shame I feel about not processing these break-ups the “right way.”

Now I’m processing them in my way.
On my terms.
In my own time.
I’m giving these experiences the attention they deserved.
Maybe they should have received this attention years ago.
But I’m here now and doing the best I can.

I’m grateful that something in my last relationship called this to my attention.
Maybe because of the mild depression I felt in the springtime.
A clear indication that there was pain that had not been dealt with.
Maybe because I started finding my voice and stepping into my power.
For the first time clearly articulating my deepest desires.

This is not easy stuff to share.
The easy way would be to brush it under the rug and keep the notes in my journal and tell the world “I’m fine.”
The more difficult path is doing this: share.
Share and tell my truth.
Stop withholding from the world and from myself.

Because … Why on earth would we ever cover up any parts of ourselves?

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