Monthly Archives: November 2014

What is a Retreat?

The word Retreat derives from Anglo-French retreat, from the past participle of retreaire which means to withdraw.

A retreat is a very personal experience and the motivating factors for one person to sign up for a retreat will be very different from the next person’s.

For me the reason for signing up for the Radiant Retreat in 2008 was crystal clear: I was 25 and I felt totally STUCK. I was in a very fine job that paid well and paved the way for a career in the art world. But, to put it simply, something was missing – call it a “joie de vivre,” call it my mojo – I wasn’t feeling fully alive.

I received an email from Jennifer asking if I would join her on that retreat many years ago and it became very simple: in order for me to get “un-stuck” I needed to remove myself, or withdraw, not only internally but also from my external environment. I needed an extra boost and an opportunity to have the physical and mental space to determine how I was going to follow my true path.

The retreat helped me determine that it was absolutely acceptable for me to want to be a yoga teacher… and more! I will never forget one conversation Jennifer and I had during a visit in Philadelphia when I gave her a vague description of what I wanted my career to be – her response was “You should be an ease-maker.”

The retreat provided a foundation for me to slowly start to become that ease-maker. In work, in friendship, and in love.

It was that wonderful tipping point that allowed me to access truth and my very own authenticity.

There are many ways we can describe a retreat and the benefits it yields. But the most profound for me has been accessing authenticity.

A retreat allows us to peel back the layers and move the junk out of the way for us to realize what it is we want and then we slowly start to do the work to get there.

The heaping mounds of guacamole, superb yoga classes, and stellar company are just the cherry on top!

Join us March 21-28, 2015 in Tulum.

retreatgroup

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A Feeling of Everything-is-alright-ness & Philadelphia Half Marathon

I think I love doing these races so much simply because they make me feel more alive. Just getting to the starting line last Sunday for the Philadelphia Half Marathon was a total well of emotions. And when I crossed the finish line … well you will just have to read on to find out what happens.

This year has been a big old wake-up call for me, most especially pertaining to my health.

I have been practicing yoga for nearly 15 years, teaching yoga for 8 years, and health coaching for 3 years. I am also a perfectionist. Or at the very least have some major perfectionist tendencies. This perfectionism has kept me from coming clean, or being totally honest not only with myself but with every person in my life – from those who I see on a daily basis to those who sometimes peek at my social media presence.

My migraines took a turn for the worse around Christmas last year. They became more frequent, longer in duration, and the symptoms were more severe than I had ever experienced. I was getting a migraine every 7-10 days lasting 2-3 days and, without fail, I could not hold anything down; vomiting regularly and spending at least a day recuperating and rehydrating. I am still dealing with these severe migraines but I have taken several steps to make taking care of them a top priority.

I didn’t want to tell anyone what was really going on except for a select few because I thought admitting that I was having a challenging time meant I was a failure – in so many ways – including a failure as a yoga teacher and health coach. It hadn’t dawned on me that being truthful with myself and giving my health the attention it needed was a huge part of being the best teacher/coach I possibly could.

Since December 2013 I had to say no to so many people and events: from endurance events to weddings to teaching … it started to become so very apparent that my health was not in a good state. Not only that but I was not giving my health the attention it deserved.

I would be struck with a migraine and on top of the physical pain and discomfort I would sink into a state of depression. I am now learning to transition into migraine-mode with more forgiveness and compassion for myself. It’s is tough work, but I am learning to let go and let the migraine just take me into the migraine-state for however long it needs to process through my body.

So what on earth does this have to do with a half marathon? Well, I was hesitant to even sign up for the Philadelphia Half Marathon. What if I got a migraine on race day? It was something I thought of every time I laced up my sneakers and went for a run. The list of what if’s ran through my mind endlessly. I finally came to peace with the fact that a migraine might happen on race day, but I also accepted the exciting possibility that it might not.

The very last run I went on before we left for Philadelphia, I said to myself “I’m going to run this thing” – that became my mantra and I visualized approaching the starting line with my friends and imagined what it would feel like to get back into doing this thing that makes my heart sing.

And guess what? I ran that thing! I got to run the Philadelphia Half Marathon and even set a personal best at 1:57:43. This was the first race for me in about a year which, if you know my history with triathlon and running, is a pretty big deal as I have spent the past 4-5 years filling my calendar with races.

Screen Shot 2014-11-28 at 3.54.42 PMSo what happened when I crossed the finish line?  My eyes filled with little tears, I got that knot in my throat, and my heart swelled up. (I think I’m officially a “Finish Line Cryer.” Is that a thing?)

The days that I have spent on my couch in more pain and discomfort than I can come close to describing … those days have given me a greater appreciation for the days without a migraine. Where I am grateful just to toe the line at a race and be amongst the running community. Where I am grateful to share race stories with my friends, our teeth chattering as we make our way back to our hotel. Where I am grateful for that hot shower after a race, the water washing away the sweat and soothing my aching muscles.

It’s a feeling of lightness, of “everything-is-alright-ness” … and maybe migraines have given me more awareness of its existence.

PhilaHalfI am grateful for my experience with migraine. Migraine has given me a deeper understanding of debilitating pain and discomfort; it has given me greater appreciation for the days WITHOUT migraine – what a sweet blessing those days are; migraine has taught me to accept the help and support from loved ones when it is offered, and to ask when it is needed; and migraine got me to get my butt in gear this year to make my health a priority. We should never be so busy that we cannot take care of ourselves.

 

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To Toe The Line

Newport Half Marathon 10.13.13

Newport Half Marathon 10.13.13

Sunday will be my first half marathon in over a year. Which, given my track record (no pun intended) over the past 4-5 years – a tendency to sign up for road races on a whim, compounding multiple half marathons in the same year as an Ironman – says a lot.

This year has been challenging to say the least and I limited myself quite a lot because of the severity of my migraines.

Sunday is the Philadelphia Half Marathon. I am most definitely undertrained, but I know that once I toe the line I will finish.

For me this race is much less about finishing, or finishing in a certain time (I have no doubt this will not be a PR race). It is ALL ABOUT toeing the line.

I just want to wake up Sunday morning, migraine-free, and get to that starting line. That will be enough for me.

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What if you fly?

This week I received some beautiful news from a client and friend that made me happy and proud: after figuratively and literally falling down and “failing” at Ironman Florida, something he devoted months of training to, he will be trying again next year – he is already signed up!

How much did I need to be reminded of this in my own life?

We cannot be afraid to fall or to “fail.” I even see it in something as simple as a handstand in the middle of the room in yoga. I am TERRIFIED of falling, but I’m starting to see that if I never fall I will never learn.

What a perfect metaphor for life this yoga can be.

whatifyoufly

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